Why God?

Allie was in tears on the other side of the phone, and I didn't know how to comfort her. She had just successfully birthed the most complicated baby she had ever carried. We had been in and out of the hospital most of the pregnancy, and for several weeks, Allie was all but bedridden and wheelchair bound. When the day finally came, he was three weeks early, and a little underweight. But he was healthy!

Soon after he was born, they took him back to the hospital nursery for a routine check. One of the nurses noticed what is known as a "Simian line." Look at your palm and most likely you'll notice two overlapping lines where your hand folds. A person with a simian line only has one. While this is no big deal, most people with simian lines have down syndrome. After the nurse noticed, several doctors were brought in for their assessments. Allie was getting nervous because he was gone for way longer than she anticipated.

Rather than bringing him back to the room, the doctor came in and explained that most likely, our new baby boy had Down syndrome. They would do some genetic testing, but it was just for confirmation. He then went on to explain many of the complications that come with Down syndrome. He scared and overwhelmed Allie. After the doctor left, that's when she called me.

We cried together and began a scary lifelong journey with our son Levi. We read books and watched documentaries as we tried to wrap our heads around his future. But we were unsure and scared. It's hard to explain, and it may sound cold, but I wondered, "God, why would you do this?" It didn't make a lot of sense to us. We were serving the Lord, living obedient, and just trying to live life. We hadn't done anything to deserve this... I won't speak for Allie, but, wow, I was dumb.

To this day I can't tell you WHY God created Levi with Down syndrome. Not because it's unexplainable, but because it is too complex. There was no one sentence “why,” it was to be a compendium. These were “whys” that I couldn't understand and many I have yet to understand. God gave us Levi because the world needed him, and somehow through his genetic abnormality, the world is a better place and God is glorified even more.

When we face difficult days, we often want to know why, but tomorrow we're going to see that “why” is not the most important question. Every person is coming out of pain, facing pain, or is going to face pain. It's part of life, and tomorrow we'll see how God's greatness is the answer we need.