When You Can't Forgive Yourself

Last night's family movie night was Godzilla Minus One. If you have yet to see this Academy Award-winning film, it is worth a watch.
 
The film revolves around a character named Koichi Shikishima. Koichi is a Japanese suicide fighter pilot during the Second World War, but when his squadron is supposed to go into battle, his plane has a "malfunction." He has to make an emergency landing on a small island for repairs, but it doesn't take long to realize, there was no malfunction, he is just a coward.
 
While on this small island, Godzilla shows up and begins to wreak havoc, but perhaps it was serendipitous that Koichi landed there. You see, his fighter plane has large guns on it that could kill Godzilla! So a plan is made for Koichi to run to his plane, man the gun, and shoot Godzilla. When the moment comes, Koichi freezes in fear, and this time his fear costs the lives of a dozen men. To his surprise, he wakes up the next day alive, which seems like a good thing, except Koichi now has to live with the blood of these men on his conscience.
 
The rest of the movie follows Koichi and his efforts to get back on his feet. Every time he makes progress, he is reminded of how his cowardice led to so many deaths. Because of this, he is unable to forgive himself, and he never feels worthy of happiness. If this doesn't sound like a Godzilla movie, don't worry the aquatic lizard plays a major role in Koichi's redemption arc. But I don't want to spoil too much!
 
Have you ever felt like Koichi? Perhaps you said or did something that you feel is unforgivable. You may feel like you can't be forgiven by others and you definitely can't forgive yourself. If you hold guilt or shame for something you've done, I pray tomorrow's message will be helpful for you.
 
This week we conclude the saga of David and Bathsheba in 2 Samuel 12. We will see David learn to hate his sin without hating himself, and in turn, we'll learn where we can find forgiveness.